By Abu Amina Elias / 1 June 2013

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

An-Nawawi records in his book, Riyad us-Saliheen:

Allah said:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّبِالْمَعْرُوفِ

“Live with them in kindness.” Surah An-Nisa 4:19

And Allah said:

وَلَنتَسْتَطِيعُواأَنتَعْدِلُوابَيْنَالنِّسَاءِوَلَوْحَرَصْتُمْۖفَلَاتَمِيلُواكُلَّالْمَيْلِفَتَذَرُوهَاكَالْمُعَلَّقَةِوَإِنتُصْلِحُواوَتَتَّقُوافَإِنَّاللَّهَكَانَغَفُورًارَّحِيمًا

“You will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive to do so. So do not incline completely toward one and leave another hanging. If you amend your affairs and fear Allah, then verily, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” Surah An-Nisa 4:129

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

اسْتَوْصُوابِالنِّسَاءِفَإِنَّالْمَرْأَةَخُلِقَتْمِنْضِلَعٍوَإِنَّأَعْوَجَشَىْءٍفِيالضِّلَعِأَعْلاَهُفَإِنْذَهَبْتَتُقِيمُهُكَسَرْتَهُوَإِنْتَرَكْتَهُلَمْيَزَلْأَعْوَجَفَاسْتَوْصُوابِالنِّسَاءِ

“Treat women well, for woman is created from a rib and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion. If you try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved; so treat women with kindness.”

Source: Sahih Bukhari 3153, Grade: Sahih

Abdullah bin Zam’ah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

بِمَيَضْرِبُأَحَدُكُمْامْرَأَتَهُضَرْبَالْفَحْلِأَوْالْعَبْدِثُمَّلَعَلَّهُيُعَانِقُهَا

“How does one of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace her?”

Source: Sahih Bukhari 5695, Grade: Sahih

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

 لَايَفْرَكْمُؤْمِنٌمُؤْمِنَةًإِنْكَرِهَمِنْهَاخُلُقًارَضِيَمِنْهَاآخَرَ

“A believer should not despise a believing woman. If he finds something in her character he dislikes, he will be pleased by something else.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 1469, Grade: Sahih

Amr bin Al-Ahwas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

أَلَاوَاسْتَوْصُوابِالنِّسَاءِخَيْرًافَإِنَّمَاهُنَّعَوَانٌعِنْدَكُمْلَيْسَتَمْلِكُونَمِنْهُنَّشَيْئًاغَيْرَذَلِكَإِلَّاأَنْيَأْتِينَبِفَاحِشَةٍمُبَيِّنَةٍفَإِنْفَعَلْنَفَاهْجُرُوهُنَّفِيالْمَضَاجِعِوَاضْرِبُوهُنَّضَرْبًاغَيْرَمُبَرِّحٍفَإِنْأَطَعْنَكُمْفَلَاتَبْغُواعَلَيْهِنَّسَبِيلًاأَلَاإِنَّلَكُمْعَلَىنِسَائِكُمْحَقًّاوَلِنِسَائِكُمْعَلَيْكُمْحَقًّافَأَمَّاحَقُّكُمْعَلَىنِسَائِكُمْفَلَايُوطِئْنَفُرُشَكُمْمَنْتَكْرَهُونَوَلَايَأْذَنَّفِيبُيُوتِكُمْلِمَنْتَكْرَهُونَأَلَاوَحَقُّهُنَّعَلَيْكُمْأَنْتُحْسِنُواإِلَيْهِنَّفِيكِسْوَتِهِنَّوَطَعَامِهِنَّ

“I enjoin you to treat women well, for they are like captives in your hand. Verily, you may not treat them otherwise unless they commit flagrant immorality. If they do so, then you may separate from their beds and strike them without causing pain but if they return to good conduct, then you may do nothing against them. You have rights over your wives and they have rights over you. Your right is that they will not allow anyone you dislike to enter your home, and their right is that you should treat them well regarding food and clothing.”

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1163, Grade: Sahih

Mu’awiyah ibn Al-Qushayri (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of women over us?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

أَنْتُطْعِمَهَاإِذَاطَعِمْتَوَتَكْسُوَهَاإِذَااكْتَسَيْتَأَوْاكْتَسَبْتَوَلَاتَضْرِبْالْوَجْهَوَلَاتُقَبِّحْوَلَاتَهْجُرْإِلَّافِيالْبَيْتِ

“You should feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, and do not rebuke her or separate from her except inside the house.”

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud 2142, Grade: Hasan

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

أَكْمَلُالْمُؤْمِنِينَإِيمَانًاأَحْسَنُهُمْخُلُقًاوَخِيَارُكُمْخِيَارُكُمْلِنِسَائِهِمْخُلُقًا

“The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.”

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162, Grade: Sahih

Ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

لَاتَضْرِبُواإِمَاءَاللَّهِ

“Do not strike the maidens of Allah.”

But Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he said, “Women have become emboldened toward their husbands.” So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave them permission to strike them. Then, many women came to the family of the Messenger of Allah and complained about their husbands. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

لَقَدْطَافَبِآلِمُحَمَّدٍنِسَاءٌكَثِيرٌيَشْكُونَأَزْوَاجَهُنَّلَيْسَأُولَئِكَبِخِيَارِكُمْ

“Many women have come to the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands. These men are not the best among you.”

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud 2146, Grade: Sahih

Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best.

ldquo;I enjoin you to treat women well, for they are like captives in your hand. Verily, you may not treat them otherwise unless they commit flagrant immorality. If they do so, then you may separate from their beds and strike them without causing pain but if they return to good conduct, then you may do nothing against them. You have rights over your wives and they have rights over you. Your right is that they will not allow anyone you dislike to enter your home, and their right is that you should treat them well regarding food and clothing.