Wednesday 10 August 2022 \


What I should do with my daughter?

I am a practicing Muslim. I don’t know how to bring up my daughter. She is 14 years old. She always snaps and offends mother and me. She perfectly understands that her behavior is wrong, but still persists in it. Please give me and my daughter some advice what to do.

From the standpoint of religion:

Hysterics are not a rarity at the teenage age. Experts say that it’s a result of calcium deficiency in many cases. Calcium is very necessary when your child grows.

In your letter you said, that you pray but mentioned nothing about your daughter. I suppose, she not only misses prayers but doesn't execute other Islamic norms such as wearing hijab and etc. Pay attention to statistic: with children who get some Islamic education about their responsibilities and attitudes towards their parents as usual there are no problems, we can only envy to such parents. Islam is a medicine from such diseases and bad character. You must try to enrol your daughter to madrasah. She can study at school and in madrasah at the same time. You should introduce her to pious women in Islam, you should invite your religious relatives (if you have such) to your house more often.

According to Sharia, when your child turns 6 or 7 years, you should start to teach him the basic norms of religion: prayer, fasting, hijab, haram, halal and etc..

From the standpoint of Psychology:

In your case, instilling a love for religion should not be too intrusive, since she is no longer a child and too much pressure can cause a negative reaction.

Follow these recommendations, I hope that's not too late, and soon you’ll notice your daughter’s behavior will better.

Teenagers are characterized by a sense of maturity and a sense that parents don’t understand and oppress them. Any critics may be understood as the attack on her freedom. Change the type of communication with your daughter to a friendly tone, talk to her as an adult. You do not need to request from your daughter because the result of it may be a quarrel. It’s a time when children try to show to everybody that they are adult with their own opinion.

Give her an opportunity to express her views and then you understand what she really needs. Be a friend for the daughter, otherwise she will not trust you and will hide from you all, fearing that you will surely misunderstand and condemn her.

Ask Alim


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